TOW the Sock Bunny
by Babatomyfriends
Summary: Yes, this is the Mondler story from TOW the Unagi (which is actually a great title, but TOW the Sock Bunny would have been so much funnier in my opinion ...) because I've always wondered what exactly they did that it was too young to see ... So here is my version and I hope you like it. One shot for the time being, but this could change.
1. TOW the Sock Bunny

_A/N: I sincerely hope that this hasn't been done already, or something similar – I did try to check, but if I read all those tons of stories out there, I'd have no time left to write. If someone did write about it and even much like it, then sorry, but I honestly didn't know. If I missed on something or if any of you have another idea that you don't want to use yourself, and if it appeals to me, maybe there'll be another chapter with an alternative version. Or two. Or three …._

_Update 7. November: Dear guest, thank you so much for your review, it's very encouraging and sooo appreciated! I'm just a little puzzled by it too. Is this story published on the main page? I think it is, but I'm still new here, so maybe I got something wrong. Or if not, it could be the M rating. Maybe I could have gone for T, but I like to be extra careful. Anyway, it doesn't matter much, I can always comfort myself by looking at the traffic stats which tell me that my stories get read. That's all I ask :-) I promise I won't switch sides either. (Um, which sides?!) And oh, could you point me to my "minor grammar errors" - that is if any are still left now (I rechecked and also added a few lines) - as I would like to correct them asap. Seriously, I hate to get something_ _wrong_. _I guess it's the German in me :-)_

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"I am going to **cook** anything you want in here, and I am going to **do** anything you want in there!"

Much later, when Chandler had curled up on the couch, miserably contemplating the dismal prospect of spending at least the rest of that night there solo until Monica had calmed enough to let him into her good books and more important, her bedroom, again, a small part of him still thought it had been worth it. Actually it was guy #1. These days the two guys in his head made themselves pretty scarce. Life was so awesome with Monica, so very much better than before that there rarely was an alternative even to be contemplated. Mostly it was over little things they – or one of them – spoke up. Like when the moment had arrived when he should have admitted that he hadn't made the mixed tape himself. And passed by when Monica declared her promise and he had that ridiculous sock bunny on his hand, and guy #1 chose just this very moment to assure him that there would be plenty of time later for apologies (and regrets) and this was just too good to miss, he just had to go along, it was simply imperative. (Guy #2 actually never got a chance).

To be honest, how on earth could any sane man have resisted that offer? Especially with Monica so fully worked up, so charged and ready to go from one second to the next? With that glow on her, that manic shine in her eyes, the way she had suddenly seemed so heated up? Yes, he had hesitated a second or two, but not, in truth, because he was weighing the pros and cons, but because he simply couldn't believe his luck. It had been a while since Monica had thrown herself at him so wildly and wholeheartedly and it was mostly for this reason that he had chosen to go for it and screw the consequences.

That damn tape was actually still running. Whywhywhy hadn't they stopped it after the truth had been out and he had actually managed to make Monica forgive him? Chandler sighed deeply, got up from the couch and pressed the stop button on the stereo, then he ejected the tape and threw it into the trash. How in the world had he not remembered that it was from Janice? Janice, actually the only girlfriend before Monica who had ever given him presents on every single anniversary they had together?

He returned to the couch, took off his jacket, tie and shoes and curled up again. For a moment he considered watching TV, but he wasn't in the mood and Monica would get even more mad at him (and worse: even more hurt) if he gave her any reason to believe he wasn't taking this serious enough.

Which he was. Very serious. As screw-ups went, it maybe wasn't that bad (he had screwed up much worse before this and glumly suspected that he would do so a lot more in the future). But until she relented, it just hurt. And gave him the blues.

So had it really been worth it? Weeeelll … All things considered … like how HOT Monica had been all of a sudden … like how she threw herself at him in the bedroom, kissing him hungrily and with total abandon … like how she had bunched up his sweater and pushed her hands under it, caressing his back and sides … oh yes, in that moment it had been totally worth it. They hadn't gone for each other with that much heat and passion since … when? Well, maybe their return from Vegas, when they had celebrated their decision to move in together. Or more recently at the Christmas holidays. Still that had been almost two months ago.

And then there was the sock bunny.

He had noticed that he still had it on his hand when he tried to take off Monica's jacket and one of the overlong ears got snagged in the zipper. And that was exactly when it occurred to him that this little simple-looking stupid useless thing could actually turn out … useful.

So he had kept it on his hand. Kept it on while he helped Monica out of her jacket and top, kept it on – with some difficulty – while he opened her jeans and pushed them down her legs, kept it on while she did the same for him, kissing him at the same time, teasing his tongue with hers and rubbing against him. He had actually managed to open her bra with his left hand while he stroked her back and buttocks with the sock bunny at the same time. By then she had become aware of it, and far from objecting had quite obviously enjoyed it. Enjoyed it even more when he started to rub over her breasts with it, teased her nipples with the tip of his thumb through the fabric and cupped her breasts one after the other in the sock. He remembered thinking that two of those things would work even better and if they could risk asking Phoebe if she had made another one. But for now one had to be enough.

Then they were naked and hot, quivering, panting, moaning and giggling, pressing against each other as he steered her toward the bed and she fell on it backwards and pushed herself further across it, spreading her legs invitingly. He followed and bent over her, kneeling between her legs, and continued caressing her with both hands and the sock bunny. Monica screamed and twisted and drew down his head to kiss him, then she ran her hand down his belly and closed it around his erect penis. Apparently that gave her an idea and she grinned at him evilly.

"Can I borrow that?" and she snatched the sock bunny from him before he could protest and slipped her hand inside it. Then she started to stroke and rub his penis with the sock bunny and soon Chandler clenched his hands into the bedcovers and groaned loudly. She then switched hands and started to fondle and rub his balls with the sock bunny hand while she continued massaging his penis with her free hand. It was all he could do to keep on his hands and knees and not fall over. Or faint. Or both.

When she grasped his penis with her sock bunny hand once more (taking care that the button eyes turned outward), then bent forward and closed her lips around the tip and gently sucked -

that was when he really lost it.

"Aaaaahhhhooohhhh ggooooooodddd … stop it … oh god, stop it … I can't hold … oh god, please, stop, aaaarrrrggghhhh …"

"Shhhh. Do you like it? Huh? It's alright if you come first, this is for you ... come on, sweetie, yeah …"

When he couldn't take it anymore, he sat back on his knees and took her head in his hands, pushing her away from him.

"No … stop it … No! Please Monica, I'd rather … I need you now …"

She hesitated and then gave in. "Alright … but this isn't about me today, it's for you."

"If you say so …"

"Okay … and how … missionary? Rocking chair?" Chandler looked at her, as she lay beneath him, let his gaze travel from her breasts to her navel and further to her mound, and smiled blissfully.

"Doggy …?" he asked hoarsely. "Or rather – bunny?" indicating the sock bunny. She stared at him and shrugged, then started to turn on her belly.

"Bunny it is!" She crawled to the head of the bed and braced herself on the headboard, the sock bunny still on her right hand. Chandler followed her on his knees and took the sock bunny back from her. He slipped it over his right hand and bent over her back, starting to rub and stroke her all over her shoulders, her back and sides and upper arms, up and down and all over. When he came to her lower back, he slid the sock bunny over her buttocks and into her crack, then down the inside of her thighs and up again, cupping and rubbing her vulva with it while she shuddered and twisted and screamed and clenched her hands on the headboard.

"Ooohhh God, Chandler, stopitstopitstopit aaarrrrghh pleaseplease …"

But he couldn't stop. The feel of her body through the sock bunny was incredibly exciting, somehow more intense, even electrifying. He braced himself against her buttocks and pushed his throbbing penis between her thighs while he stroked her breasts with the sock bunny hand, cupping and squeezing them. Monica threw her head back groaning and spread her legs even wider, pressing against him while he rubbed his penis against her vulva and teased at her entrance with the tip. At last he drew her against him and held her with one arm while he rubbed the sock bunny all over the front of her, from her breasts down to her belly and upper thighs, kissing her neck and shoulders. She let go of the head board and reached behind her, around him and grabbed the cheeks of his buttocks, trying to force him inside her. He held back a little longer and then pushed in as slowly as he could. Before he could start thrusting, she began to move her hips up and down again rapidly. The feel of her tight vagina and the friction felt so incredible he thought he would pass out. He continued to caress her with the sock bunny and started thrusting himself when he sensed her beginning to flag. For a while they kept going, becoming faster and faster until finally their orgasms built up. He tried to hold himself back, but at last came in a violent rush, squeezing her against him and falling back on his knees with her on his lap. Monica stiffened and panted and moaned, and he remained inside her long enough to help her over the edge. Then he withdrew from her as she sank forward again and stretched out beside her, trying to catch his breath again. They were both soaked in sweat.

"Oooohhhhh …. Wwwooooowww …"

"Yeah" she agreed breathlessly, turning on her back and snuggling against him. He turned on his side to kiss her and became aware that he still had the sock bunny on his hand. It had become quite wet.

"Wow. You are way too young to have seen that!"

And Monica started to giggle.

Yes, it had been worth it. Never mind the new jacket and the cake and his favorite meals – in short, all of Monica's usual manic overachievement when she got on a roll and couldn't stop – those were just added bonuses that he could just as easily have done without. But the sock bunny sex …

Chandler grinned blissfully and snuggled against the couch pillow. That had been so worth it.

Hours later he was still reminiscing about the sock bunny style on the couch when he heard the bedroom door open and turned around. Monica was standing there in her shorty, with tousled hair, and wordlessly held the door open for him. Chandler opened his mouth and just in time bit back hard and closed his mouth again. Wordlessly he got up, collected his jacket, tie and shoes and went to her. She looked at him steadily while he pleaded silently, then she smiled and offered up her mouth and they kissed softly, lingeringly.

When he stood at the hamper and started to take off his shirt, he paused suddenly.

"Honey … say, did you wash the sock bunny already?"

She had looked apprehensive and now relaxed, even smiled.

"No, I'm sorry, there was no time. But I can do it tomorrow."

"That's okay. I just wanted to know."

She put her arms around him and laid her head against his shoulder while he kissed the top of her head.

"Or I could ask Phoebe … maybe she has another one to spare."

He smiled and held her close.

"That's a great idea."


	2. TOW the Stripper - and then some

A/N _Dear first reviewer, thank you for the idea with the stripper! I actually didn't think much of it at first, but then one thing led to another and well, here it is. Chandler's POV again – somehow I always find that easier to write, go figure – but maybe I'll add another chapter with Monica's POV sometime. Maybe :-)_

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"You know what? I'm gonna make this up to you. I promised you a stripper, and you're gonna get a stripper!"

This woman was really unbelievable, Chandler thought as he leaned back on the couch and let himself be entertained by his wife. The stripper she'd hired who turned out to be a hooker had filled their guestroom with smoke, left lipstick stains on the bedsheet and possibly other stuff plus, as he'd pointed out to Monica, her assprint on her grandmother's cushion; and still her first concern was for him and how to make up for what he'd missed. Even though, in all truth, the evening had been more fun than he'd expected. By now he could see the funny side of it, and also be glad he had got a chance to share some best buddy moments with Joey again – it had been too long, Joey was right about that. And now, instead of admitting her defeat and cutting her losses, his ever energetic, never-give-up, overenthusiastic wife of his was bravely soldiering on and vowing to strip for him. She was still in her work clothes – just jeans, t-shirt and trainers that were the most comfortable to wear under her kitchen smock – and she smelled of sweat and whatever she had just been cooking at Allessandro's before she running out. Actually that was one more thing that was hard to believe: that this was important enough for her to abandon her work before her shift ended to rush home. And now she switched on the stereo which she had loaded with "Let me blow ya Mind" in preparation for the stripper just in case she didn't bring her own music, and in all seriousness, with typical ardency and zing actually started to strip for him.

And he enjoyed himself.

Although, at first only because it was funny. He had trouble keeping a straight face, when her wrist snagged on the sleeve of her jacket and she couldn't get out of it, and then actually had to bite his lip, when her shoe went flying and struck something in the kitchen. He almost expected her to interrupt at this point to check if anything had been damaged, but no, she carried on without missing a beat. And then –

Then it became interesting.

He had no idea how she managed that, but by the time she had wriggled out of her socks and, still swaying and cavorting in perfect time with the beat, started to unbutton her jeans, his amusement slowly changed to appreciation and then actual fascination. When she shook out her hair so it flowed in a loose dark tide over her shoulders, and then turned around, bent over and wriggled her sweet shapely ass at him as she slowly inched out of the jeans, he was captivated. Her underwear wasn't anything special either, just plain white and pink panties and matching bra, but somehow it added to the fascination. There was a glow around her, on her skin and in her hair, and that mad shine in her eyes that he loved even when it meant she was on one of her wild manic rampages and couldn't be stopped for any time soon. But when had he actually last seen her in that mood, when she was this hot, and for him too? Not since their wedding night or maybe that one night on the beach when they were on their honeymoon. And that was over two months ago already. Of course they had had sex since then, a lot of it in fact. But the times it got really exciting, mindbogglingly thrilling smoking hot – these times were rare enough to be treasured forever.

Now Monica started to take off her t-shirt. She ran her hands up and down her sides and over her belly and breasts, eyes closed and silently working her mouth to the music. She slipped her arms out of the sleeves and bunched the fabric up over her breasts, then turned her back while she slipped it over her head. And Chandler suddenly realized several things at once.

For one that he was getting good and turned on. It couldn't be denied, his sweater was getting too hot for him and his pants too tight.

Also that they were in their livingroom, with all the lights on, the door unlocked, and the curtains not drawn. True, Joey had volunteered to take care of the stripper/hooker, and Ross in his apartment across the street probably had better things to do than watch his sister's stripdance – but still.

And last but not least, if there was any chance this was going to lead to anything more than just an amateur strip, he was going to have to get Monica to relocate everything to their bedroom, away from anything that could remind her of that woman's brief stay in their guestroom, or there was a good chance she would change her mind, and start cleaning.

So he cleared his throat. "Um, honey …"

She smiled blissfully at him and moved herself closer.

"Yes, sweetie? Would you like a lapdance with that?"

Chandler swallowed. "No – I mean yes, of course, but … could we, you know – take this someplace else? Like – " and he indicated the bedroom. Monica hesitated and chewed her lip. Chandler got up from the couch and adjusted his partycrown.

"I mean, someone could come in – or look in … " and he looked meaningfully at the window. Monica followed his glance and her eyes widened.

"Oh God, you're right! Yes, let's … ooooohhhh, wait, nonono. Not like that. No, I have an idea. Just wait." She wriggled out of his arms, stopped the stereo and took out the CD, and then darted into the bedroom, where she switched on the lamp on the bedstand. "Could you turn out the lights? And now, come in and sit here. Sit and don't move."

She had drawn the easy chair over to the bed and put the CD into their bedroom stereo, starting the song over again. When he came in, she drew him to the chair and made him sit on it, then she climbed on the bed and got on her knees facing him. She stretched and swayed with her arms over her head, and then slowly took off her bra, caressing and massaging her breasts with her flat palms. Chandler's breath caught when she slid her hands down her sides and hooked her thumbs in her panties, inching them down her thighs. She sat down sideways to push them down her legs and over her feet and then tossed them at him. Only when he tried to catch them did Chandler realize that he had been gripping the arms of the chair quite harder than necessary.

"Honey … um …"

"Don't move! I mean it! I just want you to watch. For now."

"Can I at least take off my –"

She considered and then grinned and nodded. Chandler let out a sigh of relief and tore out of his sweater and his t-shirt for good measure. When she didn't protest, he unbuckled the belt of his pants and got out of them without getting up, kicking off his shoes while he was at it. Then he sat back again. Monica gave him a long look, let her gaze wander down from his eyes to his chest and further down to his boxers already tented by his erection, and her smile got wider and even more mischievous. Slowly she got on all fours and moved over to the nightstand where she opened the bottom drawer and took something out of it. When he saw what it was Chandler's mouth went dry.

The sock bunny.

Oh my god, he had all but forgotten about it, but she had kept it, she had actually kept it and now -

now she slipped it over her hand and got on her knees again with her legs spread, facing him so he got a good look at her mound and vulva. Slowly and seductively she started to caress herself with the sock bunny, sliding it gently over her breasts and rubbing her nipples, pressing them together with both hands and then stroking her belly. Chandler swallowed, coughed and swallowed again, his hands clenching on the armrests as she stroked her thighs, inside and out, moaning and panting, then her belly again, her sides, fingering her breasts with the other hand, caressing her neck and throat while she let her hair sway and flow from side to side in time with the beat ….

How did she know how to do that? Where had she learned it? Why did that matter?

She inched her way ever closer to her lap, circling her mound but not touching, until Chandler couldn't take it anymore and rose from the chair, breathing heavily, but hesitated when she glared at him and stopped moving. He refused to sit on the chair again however and sat on the edge of the bed instead. This she accepted and continued touching herself, both with the sock bunny and her free hand, inching her way closer and closer to her vulva until at long last she covered it with the sock bunny hand and slid two fingers from her other hand inside herself. Chandler bent over for a closer look and she let him, but pushed him back when he tried to touch her. He got on all fours and hovered over her not touching her, while she lay under him on her back writhing with her hands still between her legs, stimulating herself.

It was pure torture for him.

Just when he thought he couldn't take it any longer, her eyes flew open and she stared at him, then sat up and pushed him back and down at the same time. Obediently he lay on his back and let her straddle him. She knelt on his legs and unceremoniously pulled down his boxers over his knees, letting his penis spring free. Then she scooted forward and sat on his hips, rubbing her vulva on his balls and against his penis while she bore down on his arms to stop him from touching her, ignoring his frustrated pleading. When she finally relented and guided his hands to her breasts and hips, they were both sweating freely and panting. She lifted herself up a little and held herself open as he nudged at her entrance and let her slowly take him inside her.

For a while they remained like that, hardly moving at first. Monica held on to his shoulders while he stroked her thighs, then she started to move faster and more urgently and he responded in kind, thrusting harder and harder at her. At last he drew up his knees and then pushed himself up until he could hold her against him while she wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. They continued rocking to and fro, holding tighter and tighter until Chandler felt as if his chest would burst. He pushed his hand between them and teased her clit with the tip of his finger and she moaned and tightened around him, shuddering and trembling. As he felt her orgasm roll over her, he climaxed too, his head buried in her shoulder while she clutched at his hair and neck.

When they were done they almost fell apart, limply and spent, lying side by side until their breaths stilled again. She rested her head on his arm and he turned on his side, holding her and gently stroking her breasts and belly.

"Mon … I don't know how you did that … that was awesome."

She smirked blissfully. "Really?"

"Oh yeah."

She sighed happily and settled against him as he kissed her on the top of her head. He got hold of a pillow and put it under his head, then snuggled against her and closed his eyes, just wanting to relax and rest a little.

Instead he fell asleep.

When he awoke again it was almost 3 a.m. and he was alone in the bed. Monica had put the coverlet over him before she left. He vaguely thought that she had gone to the bathroom and was just closing his eyes again when he heard the unmistakable sounds from the guestroom.

Monica running the vacuum.

Chandler sighed deeply. For a moment he was tempted to stay in bed and go to sleep again, but he knew that once Monica was on a cleaning spree she could go on until she fell asleep standing up, and he would never be able to go to back to sleep while she was in this state. So he got up, put on his boxers and padded across the living room to the guestroom where he leaned on the door and looked at his wife.

She had already wiped all the smooth surfaces of the furniture and stripped down the bed. All the covers and sheets were stacked in a laundry basket with her grandmother's pillow residing on top. He had no idea how she would go about cleaning that, but trusted her to find a way. The smell of cigarettes and the hooker's awful perfume were all but gone. Monica stood before the bed, her eyes half closed and slightly swaying, absorbed in vacuuming and already half asleep. She didn't notice him until stepped up behind her and put his arms around her, then she started and tried feebly to push him away. He held her tight and kissed her until she gave up and leaned against him wearily. Then he switched the vacuum off with his foot, picked her up in his arms and carried her back into the bedroom. When he laid her down on the bed she was already fast asleep.


	3. TOW the Canoodling

A_/N Okay, I did consider several episodes before TOW the Blind Dates, but just couldn't think of a way to work the sock bunny in, so I left them for later and/or other stories. There'll probably be one more sock bunny chapter from an episode in the 10. Season, but it still needs to simmer a little more, to get it right. I hope you enjoy this one in the meantime. At first I meant to stop when they find that Emma was gone, but that just didn't feel right, so this chapter got a little longer. Any suggestions for improvements or ideas are always welcome of course!_

_PS: About the pacifier, if you watch the episode closely, you can see that Chandler takes it with him to the bedroom, but neither of them has it when they come out again, so I guessed they really kept it.  
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If only there was a way to make babies blind and deaf for a short while – say, 10, or well, 20 minutes. It seemed so unfair. Why did Monica have to ovulate today of all days when they had agreed to babysit Baby Emma? It would be another 4 weeks until they had another chance, 4 long, boring, tedious weeks, lost for nothing. Maybe if they put a blanket over the playpen? No, that was for parrots. Let her watch something really boring on TV? But she might actually find it interesting. Read her a really boring book? But what would bore her to sleep? Warm milk? She had that every day. Soothing music? The sound of a car running? He had heard that some babies only went to sleep if a vacuum was running near them or they were driven around in a car.

Well, for starters they could try the pacifier. There was quite an assortment of binkys in the crib plus some teethers. He offered one to Emma, and she took it from him and stared at it, then dropped it again. He took another and put it in his mouth for demonstration, making faces and 'mmmh' noises to show her how good it was. She watched at him wide-eyed and then took up a teether and started to gum it enthusiastically. So far so good. He made sure that she was still watching and then lay on the floor and closed his eyes to show her how it was done. Mmmmh, that actually felt quite nice. So soothing. She was a lucky girl. Sleep whenever and wherever she wanted. Sleep, relax, float away …

"She's asleep!"

He heard Monica say it, but it didn't make sense to him. Of course she was asleep. He had made her, and now he was feeling so relaxed himself …

"Chandler?"

As he opened his eyes, he remembered. Oh yes, the pacifier. Apparently it had worked really well, quite as well on him as on Emma. Which must be why he still had it in his mouth …

"What are you doing?" Monica stared at him confused and he took out the pacifier.

"Emma was doing it!"

She shook her head, and then smiled at him suggestively. "She's asleep ...!"

Finally her meaning sank in and he scrambled hurriedly to his feet, rolling his hips and grinning happily.

"Oooh, she's asleep, that means we can –"

Monica grinned back broadly and in the back of his mind he noted that she looked quite lovely. Her eyes were gleaming and her color was high.

"Yes, but we'll have to be fast." And she looked at him mischievously, daring him.

No problem there, he thought happily and laughed.

"Okay, I'll try. And YOU can't make any noise." That got her laughing too.

"Okay, I'll try!" And she hurriedly led the way into the bedroom, with Chandler close behind. At the door he realized that he still had the binky in his hand and on an impulse put it back into his mouth.

Maybe he could still put it to good use.

Monica was already at the chair behind the bed, taking off her t-shirt and kicking off her shoes in the same motion. Even though she had more clothes to shed and moreover was putting them all neatly on the chair, she was already naked while he was still taking off his jeans. It puzzled him a little, since she had wanted this to be fast and he had thought, she would merely take her pants off to save time. But no, fast or not, apparently she wanted this done right or not at all.

Now she stepped up to him and steered him backwards towards the bed, and he realized that this was one of the times when she wanted to turn herself on by watching him getting it up. Like most of the times when they had sex while she was ovulating and trying to have a baby, she wanted to be in control. Which was fine with him, as much as he liked to call the shots during the other times when they enjoyed their usual sex sessions, he actually preferred it when she took the lead at those 'special' times. He found that it worked best for him if he didn't actually think about making a child during, it tended to worry him too much and diminished the thrill instead of adding to it. And it went without saying that Monica loved it when he left everything to her.

So he obediently lay down on the bed on his back and let her tug down his boxers, then climb on top. He put his hands on her breasts and drew her down, but she hesitated and frowned at the pacifier in his mouth.

"You're going to keep … oh, does it help?" He shrugged and smiled beatifically around it. She suddenly grinned as if struck by an idea, then got off him and bent over to get something out of the nightstanddrawer. He got up on his elbows to see what it was and let himself drop back, groaning. The sock bunny. He might have known. Oh alright.

"Oieeh ed edder ake id ikkynine wen …" he suggested.

"What?"

"Oieeh … oh alright." He took out the pacifier. "We'd better make it 69 if you still want it fast."

"Okay!" and she knelt over him with his head between her thighs facing his legs, the sock bunny on her right hand. As he started to nuzzle her vulva she went to work on his groin area, stroking his inguinal and inner thighs and massaging his penis and balls. It was indeed fast work, he was aroused within what seemed like seconds, more than aroused in fact, almost in convulsions. It made him groan loudly and then scream and kick his legs fitfully, almost throwing her off. Just when he thought he couldn't take it anymore, and moreover was too distracted to concentrate any more on her, Monica let up and got off him, breathing hard and shuddering. She looked at him over her shoulder, her pupils hugely dilated and swimming, and he quickly scrambled up and got in position behind her. Together they hurriedly tugged some pillows from under the covers and stacked them on top of each other in front of her, then he took the sock bunny from her, put it on his own hand and hugged her from behind, gently bending her over the pillows. When he started to stroke and caress her breasts, belly and thighs from behind, she squirmed and twisted, and started to moan and then scream softly. Before she could get any louder, he took the pacifier and put it in her mouth. She rolled her eyes, but left it in and pressed her buttocks against him. He continued to stroke her all over with the sock bunny hand and slid two fingers of his other hand inside her, stimulating her clit, his face buried in her hair at her neck. To his amazement she climaxed almost right away, he felt her stiffening in his arms and then shudder, moaning and almost ejecting the pacifier. He pushed her down until she was resting on the pillows all trembling and panting, then nudged and teased at her entrance and slowly slid into her while she clawed at the bedclothes panting heavily.

"Eeebea … eeebbe-ar …" she moaned and pushed her buttocks against his hips, spreading her legs even wider. He held on to her hips and tried to get as deep inside her as he could, thrusting harder and harder. When she climaxed again, her vaginal walls clenched around him, bringing about his own orgasm as if out of nowhere. As always on these occasions it seemed to him as if his semen was not so much ejaculated but sucked out of him. Then he collapsed on her and they remained tightly wrapped around each other for the time it took them to get their breaths back.

Then Monica took a deep breath and sat up, gently pushing him off. It never ceased to amaze him how fast she recovered after sex, how she managed to get from a quivering, moaning, sweaty mass back to her normal collected self while he wanted nothing more than to stretch out and not move a single muscle for the next, say six to ten hours.

But there was no time for that, they had a baby to watch. So he pulled himself up groaning and tried to find his clothes, still with the sock bunny on his hand. As usual Monica was already back in her jeans and fastening her bra while he was still getting into his boxers. She took the sock bunny from him and smiled at it, shaking her head.

"Yep, still works" she remarked. "And now it looks like we've got a new toy. Think we can keep this?" and she held out the pacifier.

"Sure, why not? Emma's got loads, I don't think Rachel will notice. We can always get her a new one."

She put the pacifier in the sock bunny and went to drop it in the hamper. "Actually this is really nice, now we've got a toy from both Phoebe AND Rachel. If that's not lucky!"

While he got into his jeans, she already started to make the bed, putting the pillows back under the cover, and humming while she did so. He found himself wondering if they had actually succeeded this time. It certainly had been memorable, easily among the best babymaking efforts they put in so far – and they had been trying for more than half a year already. It really was about time it took. Not that he minded trying, especially if it was so amazing like just now. But he knew that the strain was beginning to tell on Monica. She was getting more and more frustrated with each failed effort, each pregnancy test that turned out negative - ooops, speaking of which, he needed to check if he had left enough for her …

He pulled on his sweater again and they went into the living room together. He loved that Monica's eyes were still sparkling and she seemed to be glowing with new energy.

"Well, that was weird" she said. "You were loud, and I was fast."

He shrugged and grinned, pleased that the pacifier had been his idea. Maybe they could put in another session after Rachel had picked up Emma …?

"I think we may have really done it this time." But better make sure, he added silently. Monica sighed.

"Oh, I wish I didn't have to wait to take a pregnancy test!"

Shoot. "Em, you may wanna get some more of those too." She shot him a reproachful look, but let it go, and he breathed again.

But not for long. When they checked on the playpen …

"Where's Emma?!"

Emma was gone.

Oh god, not that. Please not that, when everything had gone so great …

Monica freaked out immediately. "Oh my god, where's Emma? WHERE'S EMMA?"

"Don't ask me, I was in there canoodling you!"

He couldn't get a clear thought. Someone must have kidnapped her. She couldn't get out of her playpen by herself … or could she? If she did, where could she have gone, crawled to? Monica thought, Rachel had fetched her, so he ran out into the hall, where he saw that the light in no. 19 was on. So either Rachel was back or Joey had returned, and could help him search …

But there was no need for that. As he burst into the apartment he found Joey in his La-Z-Boy with Emma on his lap, trying to feed her Oreos.

"JoJoJoey- OH thank god, there she is! You got her?" It felt like a huge weight had lifted from him. He had already seen himself rushing into the street with Joey, chasing Emma just like that time when they had left Baby Ben on the bus and had to track him across half the New York City institutions. He didn't think he could survive another stunt like that one. Especially not with Monica AND Rachel on his back.

Joey smiled at him, and then frowned and wagged his finger. Chandler didn't give him the time to deliver his lecture, but pulled him out of the seat and urgently steered him out of the apartment and into no. 20, where Monica was just about to freak out Rachel on the phone. When she saw them she hurriedly fobbed Rachel off and hung up. Joey put Emma back into the playpen and then they faced each other over the couch.

"Why the hell did you take her?" Monica was still freaked, but Joey didn't back down.

"Because you two were having sex!" Monica's jaw dropped and Chandler just stared. How the hell did he know?

"No, we weren't!" Monica went into full denial mode.

"Don't you lie to me!" Joey pointed an accusing finger. "I could tell by Chandler's hair." Now it was Chandler's jaw that dropped. Everytime they thought that Joey never noticed anything it turned out that he was actually quite a shrewd observer. He put his hand to the hair on the back of his head and found that it was indeed still moussed from their 69 take-off.

"You are so lazy, can't you get on top for once?"

He considered denying, but it was no use, and explaining that he had only started out lying on his back - that Monica on top the whole time wouldn't work so well for conceiving a baby - would really take it too far.

"Alright, alright, we were! We were trying to make a baby. Monica's ovulating."

Joey suddenly grinned. "Which is more than I can say for myself as of 2 o'clock today …!" And they nearly doubled over laughing and high-fiving while Monica looked on exasperated.

"Guys! Guys! Seriously, those sticks are expensive!"

Joey sobered and put on his reproachful face again.

"But hey! It is unacceptable that you two would have _sex _with Emma in the next room."

He was right. What had they been thinking? What if Emma really had been kidnapped?

"I'm gonna have to tell Rachel about this."

Oh god no!

"No, please don't. Please, Joey, she will kill us!"

Joey was already heading for the door, but to their intense relief he turned around once more.

"Hey, I gotta! Unless …"

"Unless what?" Anything, really anything … within reason of course.

"Unless you name your firstborn child Joey."

"What? Why?" Maybe, it wasn't such a bad idea …

"Hey, I may never have kids, and somebody's gotta carry on my family name!"

Or not. "Your family name is Tribbiani!"

Joey stared at them, stuck for words and they patiently waited for him to work it out. Then he laughed.

"You almost had me!" And he left them again, staring at each other nonplussed, and then they both let out a huge sigh of relief.

"Whew, that was close. I'm telling you, I'll never babysit again. Or at least not until we have our own baby."

"Yeah, I guess that would be tempting our luck. Just imagine if we actually had to call our first child Tribbiani. AND explain that to the others."

Monica put her hand to her mouth, stifling a giggle. They returned to the playpen and looked at Emma, their arms around each other. Monica put her head on his shoulder.

"If we actually got pregnant this time, I don't care what we have to call it. Just knowing there will be one is enough."

He tightened his arm around her and kissed the top of her head, for once at a loss for words.

There had better be a child. Just had to be.


	4. TOW The Art of Seduction

_A/N: Since the episode "TOW Rachel's Phone No." is set a few episodes earlier in the timeline than "TOW the Blind Dates" by right this should really be the third chapter and not the fourth – yes, I'm OCD enough to fret about such things :-) But well, since they're both in the ninth season, I guess it doesn't matter this much. Thank you all for your kind reviews, I hope you enjoy this one too!_

_Update 20. Dec.: Upon rereading it I thought it was a little on the short side and reworked it, adding a few lines. Let me know if it's better now or if you prefer the first version._

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Please god don't let it be too late. Don't let her have changed, and put on her sweats yet. Or at the very least don't let her have started on the cleaning already. She could still change out of her sweats, but stop cleaning once she'd started? No chance.

They only had this night together. Tomorrow she would have to work two shifts at the restaurant due to the Christmas season and he would need to leave for Tulsa again right after the Knicks game with Joey. Then it would be another week of dealing with his listless coworkers, tedious work, bleak hotelroom, lonely evenings, the urge to smoke whole cartons of cigarettes, and what would probably be some millions of cat photos he would have to look at before his assistant would get over her huff again. If she ever deigned to speak to him again at all that was.

Still, there had been some quite enjoyable moments. Coming home to Monica in that awesome black negligee – too bad he hadn't had time yet to examine it as thoroughly as it deserved – definitely deserved to go to the top of the list of memorable moments. And yes, fooling around with Joey once more too. Although some parts of it hadn't been that much fun – being caught in a lie again, and having to climb down that awful fire escape with Scary Pidgeon on the prowl wasn't exactly his definition of fun. But it had been good nevertheless. And then he had caught an unexpected break with the game being on tomorrow instead of tonight, so that he was free to spend the night with Monica as they'd originally intended. Maybe they could try out some more of that gentle slapping. Or the role play of the suspicious husband surprising his hot wife. If only she hadn't started with the cleaning yet …?

Oh no. Shoot. She had started up the vacuum in the bedroom. Chandler shoulders slumped and he let out a deep sigh. If only he hadn't lost even more time getting Joey back into his apartment after he'd locked himself out. Now it was too late.

Or was it? Better make sure. He took a deep breath, steeling himself, and then opened the bedroom door. Yup, it looked bad. She had changed into her sweatpants and one of his old t-shirts – a Knicks t-shirt even – and was on her knees behind the bed running the vacuum under it with one hand and cleaning the dust from the corners the vacuum couldn't reach with a duster in in the other. Her hair was in a ponytail and she was wearing thick woolen socks on her feet.

Hmmm. Wait. Socks …?

Now she caught sight of him and looked surprised, and even pleased. But left the vacuum on. Naturally. He went to her and squatted next to her.

"The game's tomorrow, honey! "

"What? I can't hear ..." and yet she kept the vacuum running. Chandler rolled his eyes and brought his mouth closer to her ears. "The game's tomorrow! Joey screwed up again. Could you please … oh god …"

She looked up over her shoulder at him and smiled a little distractedly. "Oh yeah? That's great! Just let me finish this." She shifted her grip to the vacuum nozzle again and bent over to look under the bed once more. Chandler almost despaired. They had been there before. 'Just let me finish this' actually meant at least two more hours. If he could stop her from cleaning the whole apartment that was.

Maybe he could take out a fuse? But then she would fetch the duster and some wet rags and clean by candle light. And take even longer about it.

"Why don't you go watch TV or something?" she suggested now. "I'll probably be done much sooner, if you're not in my way."

Okay, it really seemed hopeless. But maybe ... maybe there still was something he could try.

"I don't want to watch TV. I want to watch you." He got to his feet and went to the easy chair, then took off his sneakers, sweater and pants. As Monica stared at him frowning, he climbed on the bed and stretched out on his back, supporting himself on his elbows, and then smiled at her expectantly.

"Go on, just pretend I'm not here …" For a long moment she stared hard at him, still frowning and debating with herself, then she shrugged and bent over to look under the bed again, presumably to check if any free-roaming dust particles had escaped her. Chandler distracted himself with looking at her ass which was still worth looking at even hidden under sweat pants, and hummed under his breath. When she straightened again and got to her feet, he smiled at her broadly, and then slowly turned around on his side and reached out for the drawer of the nightstand, rummaging in it. Oh god, what if she had put it somewhere else? But no, there it was.

"What are you doing?" Yes! She had actually stopped the vacuum. Chandler turned on his back again and slipped the sock bunny over his right hand. Her eyes widened and he grinned blissfully.

"Just thought my buddy here would like to watch too." And he stacked up some pillows against the headboard and reclined on them with feet crossed and the sock bunny hand upraised. As Monica stared at him with her hands on her hips, he made the sock bunny's ears flap and turned it this way and that, as if it had just woken up and started to look around.

"So, buddy, what do you think? Watch some Monica with me? Yeah, you got that right. Monica and the vacuum. Getting all hot and sweaty. Oooohhh, that's so hot."

"Chandler …!"

"What was that? Right you are, buddy. I'm getting hot too. In fact, I think, I'll get a little more comfortable here …" and he pulled his t-shirt over his head. Monica's eyes narrowed.

"That's better isn't it?" And he leaned back against the cushions again, smirking. Monica seemed undecided for a moment, then she shrugged and started the vacuum once more. After some sweeps at the end of the bed she came around to kneel and run the vacuum under his side of it. Chandler turned on his side and pretended to let the sock bunny watch her, wagging its ears excitedly, until she couldn't help smiling. Then he sighed and, still pretending to be hot, slowly wiped his neck and shoulders with the sock bunny hand. As Monica stared, he turned on his back again and let the sock bunny hand trail down his chest and stomach to his navel and further to the edge of his boxers. He let it rest there for just a moment, then pushed it underneath and dreamily started to fondle himself. He could hear Monica's gasp even over the vacuum, but pretended not to notice. Monica quickly ducked under the bed again and remained there, vacuuming hectically, and he could tell that she had lost her rhythm somewhat and grinned to himself.

For a little while they continued like that, with him working up a nice good hard-on and Monica darting looks at him every so often and ducking out of sight again before he could catch her at it. When he was fully erect, he got out of his boxers and drew up his knees, then fooled around with himself some more, letting his penis slide under the sock or tying its ears around it. When Monica had at last finished vacuuming on his side, she got to her feet and stretched, then pushed the vacuum cleaner away to the side and climbed on the bed, to vacuum the floor under the window from the bed. As soon as she had turned her back to him Chandler got on all fours and scooted over to her. When she bent down to look under the bed, he gently slid his sock bunny hand under her t-shirt up her back. She twitched a little, but didn't shake him off and thus encouraged he pushed his hand further up, running it up and down her spine. When she didn't react he went down again and gently pressed his thumb against the edge of her sweat pants, pushing them over her buttocks and tugging them further down with his other hand. Only when her buttocks were bare did it dawn on him that she was wearing nothing beneath, was in fact going commando. And holding quite still now, with her head down and her ass invitingly almost in his face. He came a little closer still and started to rub and stroke her hips and buttocks with both hands, sliding the sock bunny hand into her crack and between her legs. Totally absorbed in this he only noticed that she had stopped the vacuum when she started to moan and wriggled and squirmed under his hands. Then she made a sound that sounded suspiciously like a suppressed giggle, and he broke off and sat back, staring at her. Monica looked at him over her shoulder and grinned, then straightened up and pulled her t-shirt over her head in one quick motion, revealing the black negligee under it. Chandler's mouth fell open and she laughed out loud.

"What … what the hell …?!"

She kicked off her sweat pants and socks, and shook out her hair, then advanced on him still laughing.

"Did you really think I was going to clean with you here?"

"Well … I thought once you'd started you couldn't stop …" Her smile widened and she put her hands on his shoulders and pushed him on his back, straddling him. He put his arms around her and pulled her down to kiss her. She held her head just over his, her lips brushing over his face.

"But I told you …" she whispered.

"Told me what?"

"That I'd practice the art of seduction." And she wriggled against him, pressing down on his penis which had almost gone limp and now slowly came to life again. He slid his hands under the negligee as far as they would go, rubbing her back and buttocks, and moaned when her open mouth came down on his and their tongues met.

"Aaahhh… um … aargh … okay … but – uummm – you were really convincing …"

"Fooled you good, didn't I?" Her eyes were sparkling. "But you're not so bad at it either … ummm … oooohh …" He fumbled for the zipper of the negligee on her back and finally managed to pull it down. She slid the straps from her shoulders and it came away from her breasts and slid down to her hips in a bunch. While he stroked and fondled her breasts and then drew her down to take one nipple after the other in his mouth, he helped her to push the negligee over her hips and wriggle out of it. Then she was naked and squirming on top of him, panting and first moaning and then screaming when he pushed the sock bunny hand between her legs from behind and rubbed her vulva and clit hard. They kissed again, long and deep, their tongues intertwining, and then Chandler tightened his arms around her, rolled on his side and then on top of her, supporting himself on his hands and knees. She squirmed and tried to pull him down and stared at him in questioningly when he resisted. Panting hard he brought up his sock bunny hand.

"I think my buddy here still wants a little more action ...?" And he shook it making the ears flap around. She stared at it and then grinned blissfully and turning around got on her hands and knees.

"Alright … ummmm …. Oh yeah …. Ooooohhh …" He held her tight against him, running his sock bunny hand up her belly to caress her breasts and neck with it, cupping her mound with the other hand, teasing and circling her clit with the tip of his finger. She held still as long as she could and just took his penis between her thighs, gently squeezing it and tickling and rubbing the tip with her fingertips. They drew it out as long as possible, rocking to and fro, until it got too much for them. At last she took him in hand and held him against her entrance while he lifted her up a little by the hips and pushed into her slowly. At first they were both on their hands and knees, then they continued to sink down until they were lying on the bed, he on top of her supporting himself on his elbows with his face buried in her neck and she flat on her belly with her legs spread wide, palms pressed against the mattress. As always neither of them wanted to be the one to come first. He kept drawing out of her almost the whole way and pushing in again slowly while she tightened around him rhythmically, until at last he sensed her climax overtaking her and almost collapsed on her shouting with relief as his own hit.

Then they lay on their backs side by side still breathing hard and he groped for her hand and squeezed it, the sock bunny still on his. She turned her head and grinned at him, and he put his other hand on her face and kissed her.

"You knew, didn't you?"

"Knew what?" But she smiled and kissed him back.

"That the game wasn't tonight."

"Of course I knew."

"And you didn't say anything?"

"Well … I wasn't quite sure. So I looked it up in the paper when you went down the fire escape … and there it was."

"You could have said something then."

"And missed out on all the fun? Na." She stretched out luxuriously. "That was so worth it."

She had a point there, he had to admit.


	5. TOW the Headset

_A/N: Yes, this is my version of "the best organized sex" they were supposed to have after Phoebe's wedding. It may seem a little strange to you and I can only hope you like it nonetheless._

_Thank you again all for your nice reviews, Katelyn of course especially. While chronologically this is the last time the sock bunny is employed within the timeline of the series, I won't rule out the possibility of more chapters yet. Provided I get an idea of course._

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.

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"I have you scheduled for nudity at 2300 hours."

Oh yeah. And now it was 11 p.m. and Chandler was about to have the best organized sex anyone's ever had. And he knew exactly what to expect.

For more than a month, from the day on they had made it clear to the gang that they would leave Manhattan to raise their child in Westchester, Monica had devoted all of her free time to organizing Phoebe's wedding. It had become intensely personal for her. Ever since she had moved into her grandmother's apartment she had ceaselessly tried to be the best host for her brother, friends, roommates and neighbors, to help them with their lives and hopes and dreams. To get Phoebe to marry and settle down was the last big goal she sought to achieve, the last big service she would do for one of their friends, before leaving them to their fates in the hope that what she had done for them in the last fourteen years would be enough for them to survive without her. Survive without her readily available meals, the comfort of her apartment, her freely offered advice and unconditional friendship. In her darkest hours she had worried and fretted that it had not been enough, that they really couldn't do without her. So the importance to see Phoebe settled and happy had become rather blown out of proportion somehow, becoming a test that their little tightknit group was finally ready to be cut loose from her. And cut loose they had to be. As soon as her dream of them becoming a family had come true she had made it clear that this was a turnaround point in their lives. She wanted nothing from her old life dragged into the new one, no ties, no compromise either. Not for her Rachel's way to try and fit Emma into her life as good or bad as it would go, always compromising, always making do, with the help of her and Ross's parents, friends, roommates and even work colleagues, and never committing fully to her child. Oh no. For Monica it was all or nothing, so if devoting herself full-time to her family included cutting loose from her old life, her friends and her home, then so be it.

He himself hadn't seen in quite that way at first, had not liked the idea of starting over at all, but then had gradually come to accept it and adopt Monica's view. As much as it hurt, it was the right way to go. The only way actually. No matter what, now that they were expecting a child, had taken over the responsibility of raising it, everything else had to stand back. Otherwise they would never take it serious, never give it the importance it deserved, it had to have. Getting that baby against such staggering odds, succeeding when it had already looked like all was lost had finally put things into the right perspective.

So he had let Monica funnel all her time and energy into that last project of hers, stood quietly by while she spent all of her free time planning and scheduling the big event, running up an unbelievable phone bill with that coveted new headset of hers, and falling asleep in the small hours usually at her computer or on one memorable occasion in the bathroom. He had accepted it, left her to it when she needed to work alone, borrowed Rachel's books about babycare and even attended a few courses on his own to learn the ropes (there was hardly anything Monica needed to learn in that field anyway) and gone alone to the real estate agency's meetings for the last formalities regarding their new house. He had even gotten used to cooking his own meals and putting Monica to bed nearly every night.

And now it was finally over. She had done it, had succeeded against all odds – her sheer bloodyminded determination that led to her fight with Phoebe, her anxieties about their future and last but not least the blizzard which had threatened to destroy all her efforts and instead had made it possible for Phoebe and Mike to have the most romantic and heartwarming wedding imaginable.

And now – it was finally his turn.

As he let himself into the apartment he couldn't help but grinning blissfully. It had been so long. He had missed it so much. And it was going to be so good.

Monica had left the table lamp in their living room burning. Otherwise their apartment was dark and quiet. There was no sound coming from the bedroom. He took off his coat and shoes at the door and put his jacket over a chair in the kitchen, then went into the bathroom to wash his hands and brush his teeth. And of course also to pee, thanks to the cold outside which hadn't helped with all the champagne, and of course feeling the urge to do so only after he had already washed his hands.

At last he had finished and went to their bedroom, softly opening the door and remaining on the doorstep for a moment, taking it in.

Monica had turned out all the lights and lit a couple of big candles instead, one on the nightstand and one on her dressing table, that spread a soft golden light into the room. She was lying on the bed, on her side supporting herself on a pillow, wearing the short, clinging, scarlet negligee that he loved most of all and nothing else except the headset as he'd asked her to.

And fast asleep.

Yup, seemed about right. Exactly what he had expected.

He shut the door as silently as possible and then tiptoed over to their hamper to take off his clothes. Naked he knelt in front of the nightstand and opened the bottom drawer, as always experiencing a slight anxiety that it would be gone – but no, there it was, in its accustomed place where they had been keeping it for almost four years exactly. The sock bunny that Phoebe had let Monica have as her Valentine's gift for him and which had added that extra thrill to some of their more memorable sex sessions. What better time to employ it than now, on Valentine's eve, with Phoebe finally married off and – hopefully – blissfully happy?

He slipped the sock bunny over his right hand and got up again. Monica hadn't stirred, judging by her breathing nothing short of a bomb going off next to her would wake her. Nevertheless he took great care to jolt the bed as little as possible as he climbed on it and got down on one elbow facing her, then bending forward a little to kiss her on the forehead, her cheekbone, the corner of her mouth and her jawbone, gently sweeping back her hair from her neck, taking care not to dislodge the headset. The candle light put a soft warm golden sheen on the skin of her arms and shoulders and flickered on her breasts every time she breathed in. He brought his face closer to her still and proceeded to kiss her throat, her neck where it joined her shoulders, her collarbone and the place where her breast began to swell, gently nibbling and nuzzling at her, and deeply breathing in her scent all the while. Now she did stir a little, stretching out a bit as if to accommodate him, but still remaining asleep. As he kissed his way over her shoulder and down her arm, he put his hand with the sock bunny on her thigh and started to slide it gently over her skin, down to her knee and then up again to the edge of the negligee and under it, over her hip and waist. She wore no thong beneath it which allowed him to move his hand over her back down to her hips, sliding it over her buttocks and cupping them. Now she stirred a little more and he could see her eyes move rapidly under the lids. When he worked his way down her thigh again and gently nudged at her knee until she raised it a little so he could slide the sock bunny hand up between her legs to her crotch he felt himself hardening. Her breath seemed to speed up and she moved her head to the side a little, then all of a sudden sighed and turned over on her back. Her eyes did not open however and after a moment her breathing evened again. He edged still closer and gently started to massage her lower belly with the sock bunny hand, cupping her mound and then her buttocks again, letting the tip of his thumb brush over her clitoris and entrance. Getting up a little more he stroked the inside of her thighs again, gently moving her knees up and apart, then kneeling between her legs he pushed up the negligee and started to kiss his way up her belly to her stomach and her breasts. Her nipples had hardened and he could feel shivers running down her abdomen. He kissed both her breasts and closed his lips around one of her nipples while he massaged the other with his free hand, the sock bunny hand remaining on her belly and hips.

By this time the strain of his erection had become almost unbearable, but Monica still slept on, though rather more fitfully than before. Without letting go of her breast he slid his left hand under her buttocks to lift her up a little, then took himself in hand with his sock bunny hand and brought the tip of his penis to her entrance, nudging and teasing. Her head moved again fitfully and her lips opened as she started breathing through her mouth, her eyes still tightly shut. When he kissed her other breast she actually moaned a little and her breath quickened. He brought his sock bunny hand up to her breasts and kissed his way up over her neck to her lips, pushing the headset away with his nose. As his lips descended on hers he pushed slowly into her at the same time, deeply excited by her hot slippery tightness. Now her eyes at last fluttered open, but still unseeing, only slowly regaining their focus. He pushed forward a little harder, unable to resist, and she gasped into his kiss, squirming and shifting under him, until he moaned and shuddered, releasing her lips again. She raised her hands to his face and held his head away from her a little, staring at him, still groggy from her sleep, as he smiled down at her.

" … wha- what the hell …?"

"Hello there, sleeping beauty." He lowered his mouth again on hers and she responded almost automatically before pushing him away again.

"Chandler! Ah … what are you doing?!"

"Um ... ah … reporting for nudity as scheduled?"

"What … oh my god, I fell asleep? I fell asleep?!"

"I guess … shsh, it's okay … I'm afraid I couldn't wait … um … oh god … ah, what –" Her vaginal muscles had clenched around him, squeezing him until he froze and gasped. She grinned at him smugly and rearranged her headset that had come askew, then pushed him up by the shoulders.

"Come on, you had your fun – up! Up you go."

"Ouch .. yeah, alright … ah, oh god." He raised himself up and slowly got on his knees, sliding out of her and wincing at the sudden coolness.

"Don't be such a baby." Monica pushed some more at him and he turned on his back obediently, letting her climb on top, then he put his hands on her hips as she hovered above him, holding the microphone of her headset to her lips as she spoke into it.

"Alright, all hands, prepare to move on target … aahh … touchdown, repeat, touchdown … now docking … docking completed …" She closed her eyes as they joined again and slowly started to move on him, rotating her hips and squeezing, though more gently this time, as he was thrusting into her. When he brought up his sock bunny hand and started to stroke first her back and then her breasts under the negligee she shuddered and writhed under it.

"Alarm … detecting majo- major aaahharousal source … proceeding – proceeding as, as, as, as huhhuh – scheduled …" Her movements quickened until she was pumping her hips against him so quickly he couldn't keep up and let her take over completely. "Aaahhh- approaching … approaching target … yes … all teams stand by … aaahhh … aaahhh … Yes! Yes!" When her climax hit she stiffened on him, pressing her knees against his ribs and clenching her fist on her headset, then collapsed on him, panting and shuddering. He continued to thrust gently against her while he held her and stroked her back and hair. After a while she had recovered enough to help him to achieve his release, then got off him shakily and stretched out beside him, taking off the headset. He groped for her hand and squeezed it gently and they remained lying side by side for a while, slowly regaining their breath.

"I'm sorry I fell asleep" she whispered at last.

He rolled on his side and gently stroked her breasts and stomach with the sock bunny hand.

"Don't be. Actually I liked it."

"What? Why?"

"I don't know. It was … different. I thought it would be harder to get you going though."

She frowned at him. "You thought … you planned this?"

"Well … not exactly. But I was pretty sure you'd fall asleep right after the wedding." He leaned forward to kiss her. "I just figured you had to be totally knackered after all you did."

She chewed on that a little and then sighed. "I guess. I really, really needed it to work. I guess I went a little crazy."

"Well … a little." He smiled and kissed her again, and she put her free hand on his head, burying her fingers in his hair.

"I just can't believe it's over. We did it. Phoebe's married."

"You did it. Only you. Without the blizzard I wouldn't have been in it at all."

Her gaze softened. "I'm so glad that you gave Phoebe away. Ross would have been okay too, but you – that's so perfect."

"I know. I'm glad too. Think they'll be happy now?"

"They'd better be. If they even think of the D-word, I'll kick their asses into next year."

They laughed and she arched her back to make him take her nipple into his mouth again, and he did, gently stroking her side and hip with the sock bunny hand. Her fingers clenched in his hair and her breath caught. For a moment she remained still, savoring the sensation, then she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him to her, hungrily searching for his mouth. Her leg slid around his hips and then he felt her toes teasing at the small of his back and his buttocks.

"Think you're ready for another go?" she whispered between kisses, wrapping herself around him as he took her in his arms and settled on her.

He grinned happily at her. "Affirmative."


End file.
